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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 4:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Sathu,

I know that MORE is being followed for generations..It's fine if the marriage is an arranged marriage,but in case of love its different,if u fall in love at first sight, u cant ask ur girl frnd which seeme u belong icon_lol.gif and then start loving her... We belong to Porangadu seeme,but in Porangadu seeme itself there r lots of "sub-divisions" i dont know from where these "sub-divisions" came into picture ....Very much confused in following MORE.... icon_sad.gif ...
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smathan1
Starter


Joined: 31 Dec 1999
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2005 5:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi,
I am confused with each ones message here.As far as I am aware the badaga community does not force you to marry close relatives as it happens in other communities. ie marrying sisters daughter etc. The idea of morai outlines who you cannot marry. I do not see how this tradition that prevents you from marrying your brother or sister increases the chance of herditary diseases infact it should do the opposite.
We have a wonderful website and it would help all of us if we can create a family tree so that each one can clearly identify his position in that tree. Also this will help us develop a data base of all our community. i know this is a cumbersome and expensive project, but i will be willing to chip in
and help. suggestions please
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kausalya
Occasional poster


Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 11:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi everybody, I am back with my question because i want to put it across differently...
Lets look it at this way....For example..
A girl from kundah and a guy from kethi... icon_smile.gif
Their families dont know each other.
They get to meet somewhere and like each other... icon_wink.gif
The villages belong to diffferent seemai and are far apart...
They are not from the neighbouring villages also.. .

But somehow, for some reason these two set of villages are bretheren villages. icon_surprised.gif
My question is what is the harm in these 2 marrying? icon_question.gif
They are from 2 completely different seemais....
If they like each other and would be happy with each other, cant the elders get them married? and bless the young ones?
Should "Morai" stop them and ask them to sacrifice?
would such a marriage be a sin?
Would this anger the Gods?

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sureshgundan
Starter


Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 11:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I agree with Kausalya!
If the case is of someone from the same village or neighbouring village, then I understand it is difficult to accept, but in such as the mentioned case where they are from 2 different villages or seemais, there should be no problem in the girl and boy getting married.
I personally think we should have some relaxed rules in such cases and not be very stringent.
We should be happy that the youngsters are not going outside the community but wanting to marry someone within the community.
We have had instances where a couple who are first cousins , that too brothers children from the same village have run away.
So, we need to reconsider our ideas about to what extent we can relax the rules especially when there is no harm caused.
Suresh
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drrams
Frequent poster


Joined: 14 May 2004
Posts: 340

PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 7:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

First of all, the concept of love (before marriage) is in no way related to our community if I’m not wrong although it is a universal one. Pls don’t think that we are unaware of such kind of things.

Well, think for a moment….. Does love comes immediately after seeing each other akin to the things which happen in cinema? If they get to meet somewhere e.g., the place(s) where they work or study etc and, like each other, couldn’t it be possible for them to confirm the major things at least which include parents, family background, hatti, morey and etc at the beginning??? …….after all we are living in a small surroundings. If they really want, they can confirm at the beginning itself and can do so if there is no restrictions. In case if they have restrictions like the so called “morey”, is it impossible for them to look for some other???…whats the problem in that???. It is true and we know that most of the guys/gals get their partner after seeing +++ times indeed. If the thing doesn’t go well, why don’t they look for some others as suitable partners and, remain as friends?

What I’m trying to tell is that…
1) “morey” is one of the traditional things as for as our community is concerned and we have plenty of choices indeed.

2) If somebody overlooks the same with complete approval, he/she’ll be the example to quote for the forth coming generations and remember……could it be possible for us to stop if a guy and a gal from the same hatty, but not having blood relation (I mean not kunnappa dhoddappa makka) wants to marry by quoting the previous case as an example??

3) Then what’ll be the net result?? No one can even talk with the opposite sex even within the hatties.

4) I believe that our community is the only community where even married women have good relationship with other married/unmarried men and vice versa in the society (in general).

5) Forget about all those things…I don’t want to talk about the other communities. It is true that love marriages will definitely end up with significant drawbacks for their parents/family who took all pains despite xxx things to make their children as respectable human being (atleast?!) in the society.

6) As an educated, as a human being…does it looks fair if a guy/gal goes in that way??

7) One may/can say that some marriages had happened with their parent’s permission and etc. but remember….none of the parents agrees such kind of things whole heartedly…. I believe. Once if a guy/gal derailed completely from his/her direction, there exceptional cases exist. What I mean to say is that the whole responsibility is with us, the youngsters.

I don’t want to hurt those who got married (love) or planning to marry and kindly excuse me if I was wrong. But think twice before you ink at the registrar office.

Rams
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nanjundan
Occasional poster


Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 6:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

senthil_bhojan wrote:
hi kausalya,
lately i read ur post.i wanted to share my view.the custom of "mora"followed in our community is something we have to welcome.our great grandparents were very brilliant (that's what i would call them).though they did not know about science much then ,the customs they had formed and followed is way beyond we could have expected of them.MORA it gives us a clear explanation ,we should not marry brothers and sisters,dont u think.though they did not know about its effects they followed it as a strict rule.
but as u say the marriage between firstcousins should be avoided .but in todays generation no one is forced to do so.it is each individuals wish.the older generation does not have a say in it,unless the boy or girl wishes the same.even illitrate people are smart these days.but this does not mean we should encourage intercast marriages.personally i am against it.encouraging such acts would only destroy the hard work of our ancestors to build this community.so we have to preserve and cherish our community ,not give in to westernised culture.

mrs.senthil kumar


I strongly agree with whats mentioned above.There are so many things which looks rudicule but cannot be changed for some reason.Then why should we slog on the same when there are many ways out!

warm regards
Nanjundan Bhojan
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