Homepage Badaga Community Forum Index FAQ Search Usergroups Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in Register
Badaga Community
Welcome to Badaga community forum
View next topic
View previous topic
Post new topic Reply to topic
Author Message
balamurali_n
Starter


Joined: 14 Oct 2004
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Love marriage in our community is also related to this topic. Is this matrimony ad right or wrong, love marriage is right or wrong. This is very very subjective, things right now may be wrong in the future. 'Sathi' which was once considered right is completely out of picture. Others are child marriage, having more than 2 kids which were considered as norm is now considered as wrong.

So Right may not be right alway, it has its turn. Community we have created, A family settled in Nilgiris and their community grew, but before that???? ppl tell we are equalant to Rao, Iyer, and many more im not sure.

Culture: we cannot create culture or destroy culture. Culture might have changed but the love towards parents have not changed expressing love these thing are fundamental to human beings. Culture changes and needs changes over a period of time.

Matrimony ad. By the time i write this mail the person would have settled happily with a Badaga or non badaga person. But the point is that right or wrong. Im not that senior to decide, what we can see is if the person is not happy after marriage then she will have a major problem in life I pray god it should never happen, may they be happy.

Coming to love marriage, there is a huge migration to tirupur happening off late to our surprise girls get married to other caste with no proper education. Economically they are affected and more so they now get affected socially. I dont where they are headed towards.

Community: earlier people doing the same kind of job were clubed to a community, say traders, priests etc. this was the concept behind community, So marrying inside a community is considered to be good, bcs u r in the same business u can communicate, similar blood etc, well. Who did this ppl like you and me and no god man. Since now it is a open culture and you have the will power you can become a trader, educationist or what not.

So Right or wrong again a open question. Wrong now later generation reads these they may consider absolutely right but fundamentals of life never changes.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
naveen_sankaran
Occasional poster


Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Bangalore Karnataka

PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Looks like a sensible post.
But it is really amazing how this topic gets discussed over and over again icon_smile.gif.
Just to check if only we are like this, i had a look at discussions of other
small communities like Kashmiri pandits, Kodavas, Palakkad Iyers etc on Orkut.
And voila!, it is even worse there!
Interestingly it is girls who are blamed everywhere for pushing their communities towards 'extinction' by marrying men of other communities ....i wonder why people get paranoid over such trivial matters (atleast to me, with my limited experience in life, it is trivial).

I think people need to chill down a bit and enjoy the better things of life icon_smile.gif.
What has to happen will happen. Nothing is going to change with a few people discussing it here. Everything follows nature's course.

Meanwhile, all those who write badugu haikus, blogs about our history et al, please keep up your great work. I really enjoy reading them!

Cheers!
Naveen
View user's profileSend private message
vijayboj_81
Occasional poster


Joined: 17 Feb 2004
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 6:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

hey

i dont think so this is a sensible move for a badaga girl to post like such an ad..
View user's profileSend private messageYahoo Messenger
naveen_sankaran
Occasional poster


Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Bangalore Karnataka

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 6:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Back to square one??? icon_smile.gif
Anyway, you guys carry on. I am off this thread!

Cheers!
View user's profileSend private message
santhosh1223
Starter


Joined: 20 Apr 2004
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey Guys !!

Many times our own selfish nature gets involved and instead of protecting the heart of our friend, we become the one who attacks. We need to constantly remind oursevles that we need to consider our friend's feelings, perspective, and agenda and not force our wants and desires on them...
Each of us tend to view the world by our own perspective and it is sometimes very difficult to pull ourselves out of the view without someone else painting a perspective that wakes us up.

Just 2 cents worth

1) The above now puts our culture in a difficult position as what our friend is trying to achieve is outside the scope of our support just the talks. I know that other communities can achieve this but this now falls into solution which require support and moral to the individual rather making her answerable to our discussions

2) Forums are to discuss the general topics not about individualism . Please try to aviod this in future as to have good relations among our people
What is a high potential is lack of understanding of the relationship between us .

Sorry , if my words are kind of hurting but Just think yourself keeping in her shoes .....

Cheers icon_smile.gif
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
santoshhalan
Starter


Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 23

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi guys !!!

such lika a badaga bride dont want pulish a ad

any way carry on . . . . .


hsotnas
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's websiteYahoo MessengerMSN Messenger
nisha_chella
Starter


Joined: 22 Jul 2004
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi,
Im visiting our site after a long time and im surprised to see that we are disscussing about a girls personal life!!! After all its her life and its her wish to either give an add in the hindu or do anything else.
Nobody lives anybody else's life.I am strongly against discussing a girls personal issue in a public forum.Let her live her life.U run your own race.U earn, u live and u die.So lets not hurt anybody's feelings.Poor girl.
I request that nobody post such articles any more.

_________________
nisha poornachandran
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
rajkumar
Starter


Joined: 03 Dec 2001
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey come on guys,
Grow up. India's ascendancy in IT may be unremarkable but your stubborn and dogged determination to uphold traditional badaga marriage is astounding. You make it sound like the whole community has decided to wed their girls to non badagas. Some things in life cannot be predictable and marriage is one ( PS: I am not mentioning falling in love). Maybe our boys don't have the courage or the means to take up family responsibilities. Maybe sheer laziness (waking up from our blanket clad bodies in our 'ullu anai'(village greens) on a hot sunny day is not every girls cup of tea).
On a lighter vein , atleast the girls are making sure there is no further threat to their offsprings from sickle cell anaemia & other haematological disorders which are rife and rampant in our community.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
l_santhosh
Frequent poster


Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 10:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hahahahaha....RajKumar,
After reading your post, I really grew up.
But the problem is that I was not sure if what you've said was what you really wanted to say....errr..
I never knew that marriage happens unpredictably...does it happen like an accident? Is it similar to death?
Also, from what you say, our girls are clever as they know how to secure themselves from certain diseases...Wow!!

This is a specific topic and you can read my views posted some time before.
There's no denying that girls(and our girls) don't prefer boys with "sheer laziness" and who can't "take up family responsibilities".

But to say that "your stubborn and dogged determination to uphold traditional badaga marriage is astounding" is not realising the sensitiveness of those words.

Think over it again. I think you will take it back.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's websiteYahoo Messenger
rajkumar
Starter


Joined: 03 Dec 2001
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hello Santhosh,
Sadly you are missing the point. The only thing constant about tradition is change. Tradition has to accommodate coexisting time, environment and progress. Previously we were getting married in hatties. Now this happens in Kalyana mandapams. Why have we accepted this? Once upon a time our forefathers got married only after the bride became pregnant! Why haven't we upheld this tradition?
Tradition has to be embraced not forced and this comes from love for it within oneself.I am not ranting about changing tradition. Every man and woman has a right to choose what he or she wants for whatever reason and NO ONE has the right to question or condemn it. The so called self appointed guardians of our traditions are alarmingly increasing who say that they speak for the community. They certainly don't endorse mine and other likeminded peoples views. Are there any official statistics about who wants what?
I am sure this is very sensitive issue. Unless you are prepared to debate it with an open mind this will become very sensitive and god forbid if it is hijacked by the self appointed gowdas it will become extremely sensitive.
The mention about bleeding disorders in the badaga community (in a lighter vein) was meant to generate some discussion and awareness about the prevalance of this in our community. This was not meant to hurt anybody who may have been affected. If it has hurt someone described above please accept my profuse apologies.
Now to clarify some of your doubts: Can you please tell me the date, time, place and the girl you are going to get married to? (remember anything can happen until the last second, there are instances where people have runaway in the last minute).You cannot compare it to death because death has has a predictable outcome. Sure it is something like an accident but without its nastiness and pain.
I can see that you have grown up quickly( making the right noises like hahaha and wow). Show some more growth and post using some original thought and grownup language.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
bjaypee
Frequent poster


Joined: 01 Aug 2001
Posts: 198

PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What Dr.Rajkumar had mentioned earlier and now [above] makes a lot of sense to me. What Dr.Raj said about the diseases, though in a lighter vein, is also a sad but true fact.

One of the problems of an 'open source' website like badaga.org is that "anybody & everybody" can write anything as new post / reply to a post and he/she feels that 'WHAT IS SAID BY HIM/HER IS THE GOD DAMN TRUTH & EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG".

A topic is expected to be debated, discussed and deliberated and not just disagreed, dismissed and deleted.

Some of the topics like 'Badaga Matrimony Ad' are serious issues and you cannot say 'ha ha or hoo hoo' and turn them to trivial issues .

By the way, I am nearly sixty and a father of grownup children and know all about the problems of ' MATRIMONY IN & AMONG BADAGAS ' as well as the damage being done by ego centric 'self appointed 'hatti' Gowdas as well as the ' safe keepers or 'net' Gowdas'. Again, sad but true !

It is worth quoting what I Santhosh said earlier...on this thread

"Customs and cultures evolve over a period of time.
A culture that does not give enough freedom is doomed to fail.
A culture that polices all and sundry will cease to exist in no time.

Moreover, there are umpteen ways to save our culture...
and innumerable ways to bring pride to it.
By traditions, let's be guided, not blinded.
Everyone will agree that cultures are FOR the people, not the other way around.
"

We may cry hoarse about our traditions not being kept or followed but the hard truth is...the damage has already been done .

_________________
Wg Cdr JP - http://www.badaga.wordpress.com , http://www.baduga.in , www.badaga.name

Last edited by bjaypee on Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:51 am; edited 3 times in total
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's website
bjaypee
Frequent poster


Joined: 01 Aug 2001
Posts: 198

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

While at BADAGA MATRIMONY, here is what I found on the net

Image


That shows Matrimonial ads could also work, if the above success story is true !?

_________________
Wg Cdr JP - http://www.badaga.wordpress.com , http://www.baduga.in , www.badaga.name
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's website
kausalya
Occasional poster


Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

dat was a gud post... I wonder how u managed to get that screen shot of a badaga couple joined thru bhratha matrimony.
coming back to the original post... I feel we shud leve it at this... thrs no point in discussing some1s personal life here for u never know wats gone thru her. We need to respect our culture, but a culture that does not allow to respect an individual does not hold gud anymore and dat is my personal opinion.
I respect our culture...
I also respect the lady for ultimately its her life...

regards
Kausalya

_________________
HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST. STOP WORRYING,START LIVING
View user's profileSend private message
deva_mathan
Frequent poster


Joined: 31 Dec 1998
Posts: 131

PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Discussions on anothers personal matters is the one perjhaps more of us are interested.

Those who says, she is spoiling the culture can suggest/ arrange a good life for such girls/ boys ?

It is her choice. Be it looking for Badaga / Non Badaga Boy. Let us leave her to decide herself.

_________________
Devarajan Mathan-
deva_mathan@yahoo.com
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's websiteYahoo Messenger
balamurali_n
Starter


Joined: 14 Oct 2004
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Here is a community which looks high on our community. This is very much related to the topic of our discussion. Interesting...

http://tenets.zoroastrianism.com/historic33.html

Thanks,
Murali
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
Display posts from previous:       
Post new topic Reply to topic

View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB All times are GMT - 7 Hours