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ravibalraj
Occasional poster


Joined: 19 Oct 2003
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi brothers and sisters,

icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif
Recently, I saw this type of marriage (when I was in my vacation to native(Manjoor) place - Manjooran -Im working in Kuwait) in our Kundai Seemai. But it was not a love marriage but its worst as the girl from badagu married a tamilian. But Im very surprised that their parents not object this marriage and also bring them to village and staying with them.

icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif
Im very shame about this happens in our community.


Ravibalraj
(Manjooran)
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kausalya
Occasional poster


Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I understand this might lead to various situations and cud be a threaten to our community's culture and heritage. but why shud u be ashamed of this?
There are so many other things in this world that needs us humans to be ashamed of...
We are not ashamed of killing each other....
We are not ashamed of the rate of rapes around us...
We are not ashamed of cheating our frends and family for money....
We are not ashamed of the increasing old age homes....
We are not ashamed of the corrupt politicians...
We are not ashamed of the increasing debt our country is in....
We are not ahsamed of serving another nation, wen our own country is in need of dedicated workers...
We are not ashamed of boasting about the salaries we get and forgetting human values...
We are not ashamed of being indifferent to all the miseries happening around...
We are not ashamed to lick the boots or our higher management just to get some work done or a raise in our salaries...
We are not ashamed to see a beggar in our cities, coz we dont know them...
We are not ashamed of our court proceedings and piling up files where justice is dead and only money speaks...
We are not ashamed of using all the foul language we use these days...
We are not ashamed of aping the western culture in all its aspects and think of ourselves as MODERN....
We are not ashamed of drinking and smoking and driging ourselves in the name of entertainment...
We are not ashamed of watching A rated movies coz its also entertainment...
We are not ashamed of being a leading country in the number of people infected with AIDS...
We are not ahsmed of our dirty roads and dirty habits...
We are not ashamed of so many other things we indulge ourselves in...
We are not ashamed of not bother ing about all these also...

But We are ashamed of love marriage...
We are ashamed to bless the souls who have developed nothing but love in their hearts...
We are ashamed of parents who have accepted their children for what they are and respect their decisions...
We are ashamed to love the fellow human being just because he/she does belong to the same community...

We are ashamed to do the good deeds and not ashamed to do all the bad ones.... and top of that we justify for our actions too...
Should we call it the irony(and leave it as it is?)
Do we even stop and think what is that expected of us?
What the ultimate aim of life is?
What are we actually doing?
If we are sensitive to the happenings around us?
There are lots of other things that needs our attention, needs our thought, needs our actions, lets act upon them...

Regards
Kausalya

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ravibalraj
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Joined: 19 Oct 2003
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 11:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi, Kausalya

icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif
HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST. STOP WORRYING,START LIVING
icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_surprised.gif

Manjooran
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rushothkumar
Starter


Joined: 08 Dec 2004
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi Kausalya,

Your thought was very impressive
Your words were very real and strong

Yes, there are lot of things happening around us that needs our attention,
than these issues which are very personal.

I appreciate.

Rgds,
Rushoth.
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malakrishnanis
Starter


Joined: 21 Feb 2003
Posts: 17

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 2:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Good Thought Kausalya...

Thats like an educated individual

Regards,
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sathish_water
Frequent poster


Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 130

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hai Ravi anna.

I Think u got wrong information. It is truely love marriage.

Impressive thoughts .. kausalya.


cheers
sathish Kumar.R
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drrams
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Joined: 14 May 2004
Posts: 340

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

It doesnít mean that we are not ashamed of many things which include ur xyz. U should be ashamed of thatÖ. too not just becoz IT IS A THING, remember..its a silent killer (in many aspects)..i'd say, and in one or other day weíll be end up with catastrophe if we...........

In general, the life style between a person who lives in city and a person in hatty is different if Iím not wrong. Iím not aware of whether you had grownup in hatty or not but we need to think about this as one of the major issues. For ur kind info, although am currently in abroad with a prestigious position, Iíve witnessed many negative things which were happened not only in our hatty but also in many other hatties and the origin for the same was the issue which was mentioned at the beginning of this topic. Furthermore, such kind of things are still existing in many hatties indeed. While there are uncountable issues need to be considered, one of the countable and important issues pointedout by the author over here should also be given preference and I feel that there is nothing wrong in that piece of writing.

MANMOHAN SINGH EANATHAA DESAGA PRIME MINISTER AALEYU
ABDUL KALAAM EANATHAA DESAGA PRESIDENT AALEYU
KARUNANIDHI EANATHAA STATE-GA CHIEF MINISTER AALEYU Ė EAKKA
NEENU NAANU EANATHAA SCIENTIFIC OLAGADHA IDHALEYU
NANGELLA MODHALU NANGA-NANGA APPA-OWWEGA MAKKA
ADHUGA MAELEYTHA MATHADHU


Despite xyz, prime importance should be given to this issue as well.


Rams
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ravibalraj
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Joined: 19 Oct 2003
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Kausalya alaiyu, senthil alaiyu professor drrams alaiyu sari, ninga ena egilaiyu sari
(BADAGA PEOPLE) LOVE MARRIAGE (WITH OTHER COMMUNITY)
is not acceptable.

Pattamagatha athuna thukkavu urichu, ariyakku - manjooran
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nramesh
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Joined: 28 Oct 2005
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear All,
I appreciate the owner of this conversation, for his respect on the values of our community, for his respect on the rituals that are followed by our sires and for his love and affection on our culture.
How many " educated individuals " here are ready to accept this type of marriages in your family ??? This question is especially to the peoples who support inter caste marriages in our community..
In this forum, we mainly concentrate on the issues related to our community. When ever we say like, I am belonging to particular group or community, it means that we are following the ethics that are followed in that community or religion or what ever it is. When ever we say I am proud to be a Badagan, we mean that we respect the values of our community and we follow the ethics that are followed by our forefathers.
As Ravi mentioned " Pattamagatha athuna thukkavu urichu, ariyakku " is absolutely true. In our community, every body gives importance to prestige, status and more to our society. When ever such marriages happen, we see the fallen head of our people, particularly the affected family members. They themselves feel ashamed to participate in any community related activities. They maintain distance not because of anything other than the real respect they have on our community.
How many parents in our community are ready to, full heartedly accept such marriages?? It is very hard to find such parents in our community (it could even be none). Some parents accept, not because they are educated or not because they support inter caste marriage... it is because of the situation that forced them to accept.
Peoples in Hattis know the pain of inter caste marriage and how the affected family members suffer.
As drrams mentioned " NANGELLA MODHALU NANGA-NANGA APPA-OWWEGA MAKKA " yes. First we are children to our parents. If we really think about our parents status in our society, definitely we will be against inter caste marriage. If we really think, we have to give priority to our parents feeling rather than to our own interest, definitely we will not go for inter caste marriage. If any of your decision or thoughts hurt your parents, then it is more inhuman that you should feel shame on yourself.
Who told that we are not ashamed of killing each other or rate of rapes around us or cheating our friends and family for money .....??? If that is the case we people might not have formed together here, to serve for a community, or to feel for the poor, or to be against such inhuman behaviors... If that is the case, there might not have been any non- profitable organizations working for this. It is very few people in this world, who doesn't care about such things. Even drops of tears from eyes on such inhuman activities are sign that shows how much we feel for that.
We have to know that no body are against love, it is against the inter caste marriages in our community.

One Kind Request ::: Please no body use sensitive words related with any group or community etc.. eg like Tamilians used in this conversation. There might be other community people visiting this site and reading those messages.


Thank you,
Ramesh.N
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kausalya
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Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 6:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi all,
I see varied reponses as I expected....
For all those who think I dont respect our culture can get back and read my openening line...
This topic is not new and has always been an issue.
If the author had shown his concern, I very well understand that. Though not very old I have also had experiences.
I was only provacated to write such sensitive words when it was mentioned that he is 'ashamed' of this.
Words have conotations and people have perceptions. When these come together, there can be a lot of understanding and misunderstanding.
I did not mean to tell we should not bother about these marrirages nor did I intend to tell that there is nobody sensitive to all those issues mentioned.
Rather then reading this article literally, give it a thought, a deep thought, and try to read between lines and understand the true meaning.

" NANGELLA MODHALU NANGA-NANGA APPA-OWWEGA MAKKA "

I accept that but disagree with that(Hope everyone understands the difference between accept and agree).

" NANGELLA MODHALU DEVARA MAKKA" - We are all indeed God's own children. We are human beings even before we belong to any particular group or even before we realise we are so and so's children. Our first relationship is with God and our first conversation is also with him when he lets us leave him temporarily and move into the arms of a goddess called MOTHER.(I know all these sound philosophical and wud not want to accept it wen it comes to the practical world - But look beyond).

All the norms of the society, what we call the mindset of the society(Its you and me in it) are all what man has set for himself, i.e we have set for ourselves.
Let me reitirate that I am not telling we should not have respect for our culture but sometimes it taken too literally that we have forgotten the more important things. Some practices are followed in the name of customs forgetting the logic behind them(This is in general across all practices in the world, nothing specific).

I love my culture and have respect for it... If not I woudnt be here writing this and expressing my thoughts and striving to do something for the society.

I am a very sensitive person and I completely understand the pain(especially the parents) when it comes to things as such. But at times we need to accept certain things even if we dont agree to them. There is no one out here encouraging intercaste marrriages, but when they do happen once in a while, lets not curse those souls is all my request.

Regards
Kausalya

P.S. No offence meant to any1. All my words are completely my opinions and expressions and doesnt hold to blame any1.

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vivekraju
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

" but when they do happen once in a while, lets not curse"

No offence meant...

If we don't curse when its happening irrespective of frequency it may lead to more and more intercaste marriages and atlast we may loose our identity. I agree that intercaste marriage is not a sin mean while Badagas have a wonderful tradtition and we all must be proud in following it...

Vivek
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andik_bellie
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Joined: 22 Apr 2002
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I agree with Ramesh in this matter.
and The points put down by Kousalya are very bookish,
except some points.
Ravibalraj is right,He (everybody) should think so,Because all the
of us are related one or the other way.Its like something wrong in our
family.We should feel ashamed and correct it.
This kind of things happen mostly with the people who stays in
Hatti till PUC and goes to city or town for their degree.Some thing
needs to be done on that .
As far as I'm concerned there cannot be any love more the the love
you have for your parents and the parents have for you.
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kausalya
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Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 10:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

mmmmmmm.....
Points taken...
I do not want to justify my stand or argue on it either...
I accept(not agree) all your views and individual opinions.
I personally dont feel we have the right to curse anyone.
May be my concepts of things around me are different.
My perceptions differ and so does all others.
We are all unique just like anyone else... the irony of it...
Those who think feeling ashamed or cursing is the right thingand the only way to save our culture, sinking in depression is the only option left, that the current generation(please note , not all of them) are outright and dont have respect for the culture, then thats how you see life and I dont intend to impose my views upon you.
May be my attitude towards life itself is different and hence the way I sound. I have no worries in what I said or believe in.
I shall continue believing in what I always have and u shall also do the same...
(Just one small clarification - would like to what was bookish? Is it the philosophy? or the style of writing u meant?)

All the best to everyone...
Regards
Kausalya icon_smile.gif
P.S - Would like to reitirate that no offence menat to any invidual are who so ever. What is written above is wholly my opinion.

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naveen_sankaran
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Bangalore Karnataka

PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey guys, hold on.
I know of a few guys in this website who have married outta caste. They all still feel part of our community. Spare a thought for them too. This kind of posturing will only drive them away! Would that be a good thing?
Some things are inevitable. One need not encourage intercaste marriages. But at the same time we should welcome those who still wish to participate. Well, that's my opinion.

Regards,
Naveen
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ravibalraj
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Joined: 19 Oct 2003
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Pattamagatha athuna thukkavu, urichu ariyakku

First I say sorry for mentioning tamilians.
I don't want to insult any caste particularly.

But my words 'pattamagatha athuna thukkavu, urichu ariyakku' -

Enaga Induna jenathogaiyu thukka buttu oppthillendara. nenjuna butha urichu aarakollandara, ekkanthalai enna frienduna familiyogai nadathitha incident karanavagi adathai.
Induna jenathogaiyu (after 9 years it happened) hattiga oppa jenathogai avakka manaiga olai onthunu singara illathai onthu thukka atha manaiga othengai adathai, hattiyogai avakka ethai thalai ethi nadudhu bandaru enthu naa nodithai, hattiyogayai (pakkatha hattiyogai ibbavakka sethi) onthu jena alaiyu avakka manaiya pathi perumai egathai ibbathillai. Athai perumaiyogai ithavakkava iga onthu nonovu sari, iruppu sari mathichothu illai (Eega Manai thunba iruppu, nona agai illangu iduthu agadu agi adathai)

Naa barithithathuna othi tharagaliyu manasuga kastava attalai athugagi enna manasara mannichivi enthu korine.
Any query or information pls feel free to contact me on my email:
malar_nirmal62@hotmail.com
-manjooran
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