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vinu_scorpion
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Joined: 19 Jun 2001
Posts: 274

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 7:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Typical Bangalore English is a phenomenon. This hasn't changed at all in the last decade.

Here are some rules on how to communicate in Bangalore:

If you want to clarify a thought, state it and then ask "No?".
e.g.: "Today is Monday. No?".

If you want to present a thought, state it and then add "only". e.g.: "Today is Monday only".

If you want to agree to an idea, say "it is like that only".

If you want to agree hesitantly to an idea, it follows from previous rules that you say "it is like that only, no?".

If you know one thing and you think there are additional things, say "and all". Eg. "This US and all are in Iraq"; implies US, UK and their coalition are fighting in Iraq. You can say "and all" to fill in the gaps too.

If you want to talk about things that are not known to the audience, prefix each sentence with "actually", "basically" or "generally". For example, "My name is Raj. I am from Pune. I go there every weekend." translates to "Actually my name is Raj. Basically I am from Pune only. Generally I go there every weekend."



If you are in IT, conversation can be in very short sentences. I usually don't talk too much to strangers, but here is a conversation I had with a perfect stranger in a restaurant.



him: Software?

me: Yes.

him: Me too. Electronic City?

me: No, International Technology Park.

him: Java?

me: No.

him: .NET?

me: No.

him: Then?

me: Then what?

him: Platform, platform.

me: Oracle, Zope, Python.

him: Python?

me: Never mind.

him: Oh. Ummmm... I've 5 years experience in Java. J2EE.

me: Good.

him: WebLogic only.

me: Good for you.

him: Now, these web services and all are popular.

me: Indeed.

him: You work in 2-tier? I work on n-tier systems only.

me: (annoyed) Does it matter?

him: What? (his mobile rings). Oh, I have to take this call.

me: Thank you.

him: Uh?

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Vinod.
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vinu_scorpion
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Joined: 19 Jun 2001
Posts: 274

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Communication...

Programmer to PL: "This is not possible!!! Impossible. It will involve design change and nobody in our team knows the design of the system. And above that nobody in our company knows the language in which this software has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion the company should never take these types of projects."

Project Leader to Project Manager: "This project will involve design change. Currently we don't have people who have experience in this type of work. Also the language is unknown so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we should avoid taking this project."

Project Manager to AVP: "This project involves design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also not many people are trained in this area. In my personal opinion we can take the project but we should ask for some more time."

AVP to SVP: "This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and some who know the language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project but with caution."

SVP to CEO: "This project will show the industry our capabilities in modeling the design of a complete system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other people. In my personal opinion we should not let this project go by under any Circumstance."

CEO to Client: "These are the type of projects in which our company specialize. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many big clients. Trust me when I say that you are in the safest hand in the Industry. In my personal opinion we can execute this project successfully and that too well within the given time frame."

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Vinod.
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l_santhosh
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Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 143

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This friction is unnatural and made up.....Read ahead...

I remember a game played to show "how much" people really "listen".... or rather to improve listening skills.
I say a "story"(to person1) about myself dotted with many details....like my name, parents name, date of birth, city of birth, my degree.....etc.
After that I call another person(person2) and ask person1 to say the same story to person2.
As I listen person1 narrating the story, there are many details left out(this will definitely happen) or distorted or confused.
Then I ask person2 to tell the story(that he learnt from person1) to another person(person3)....
This goes on.....like a chain.

Finally the last person should tell the story to me....that is....if there still is one(most of the details would have been forgotten by then)....

The last person would have been told only my name...
"Friction is natural".
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ebhari
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Joined: 31 Dec 1999
Posts: 279

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Friction exists in a business environment mostly because of change in priorities as we move up the heirarchy. A programmer at best is worried about the immediate operational level activity while a CEO is concerned about running the enterprise as such, profitably and successfully.

Hence, friction between extreme ends of this chain is maximum. That's why you have the lubricants icon_wink.gif to smoothen things up at the middle management level.

But Buddy, how I hate these vast majority of Bangaloreans speak their english (including a sizeable number of techies - no offences meant here!) ...at times Iam perplexed and dumbfounded with even the little english I know. Its high time there is ban on the usage of "only" and "no" in normal conversation.

Iam correct only, no? icon_wink.gif

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Emerald Bhojan Hariharan.

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vinu_scorpion
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Joined: 19 Jun 2001
Posts: 274

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

U r correct only.... icon_lol.gif

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Vinod.
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vinu_scorpion
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Posts: 274

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India...


1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, Please sanction me one-week leave.


2 Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."


3. From H.A.L. Administration dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."


4. An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."


5. A leave letter to the headmaster:

As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"


6. Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."


7. Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".


8. Letter writing:

"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."


9. A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! ) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

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Vinod.
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rajunandha
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Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 5:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

One more Vinod...

As I am suffering from my "Brother's marraige", please grant me two days leave... icon_smile.gif

Got it ! The Bride is, his LOVER... icon_cry.gif

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Nannnndu...
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vinu_scorpion
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Joined: 19 Jun 2001
Posts: 274

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

U have a brother????? icon_smile.gif icon_smile.gif

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Vinod.
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rajunandha
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Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

vinu_scorpion wrote:
U have a brother????? icon_smile.gif icon_smile.gif


Obviously! May be You...???

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Nannnndu...
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vinu_scorpion
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 6:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

rajunandha wrote:
Obviously! May be You...???


Didnt get you yaar... I have a brother, but i dont suffer from his marriage icon_biggrin.gif

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Vinod.
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vinu_scorpion
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This happened in Jeddah Airport

One Indian passenger named Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at Jeddah airport.

He ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name...

Finally, he got fedup and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet. They said that they have been calling him for the last hour and a half ......... were wondering why he hadn't responded!

The reason was made clear when the immigration officer pronounced his name as: 'Anotherman Superman'

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Vinod.
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kausalya
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Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 11:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The collection of leave letters is one of my all time favourite....... i have read this piece for so many times and everytime i cnt help myself but laugh......
Adding to it.......
A student writes a letter to a father as a part of the English Paper...
Since she is running out of time..... she writes a quick letter and forgets to check it...... The teacher one who corrected the paper read just the 1st line and spent a whole hour laughing.....
And this is how it goes........

Dear father,
who are you?.......
icon_biggrin.gif

For those who understand Hindi....... heres aother one......
Another leave letter by another student .... this time in the hindi paper...

"Meri bhaiyya ke shadi keliye mujhe do dino keliye chatti chahiye......"

keep smiling......
icon_smile.gif
Kausalya
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purni
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Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 11:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

THis just happend a couple of days ago.my daughter was singing...."shame shame puppy shame, all the monkeys know your name!!!. when I asked her "Is is so?" she said "all the monkeys "yes" your name where she understood the word "know' as 'no'. she is jus 3 years old and i was really surprised on how she cracked that joke.

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bojan_pradeepkumar
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Joined: 06 Sep 2004
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

hi all..

look at this..


Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was
performing his daughter's wedding:

"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."


Apart from the fun part of it, the sentence is absolutely perfect.


thanks and regards,

pradeep kumar bojan
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vinu_scorpion
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Joined: 19 Jun 2001
Posts: 274

PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Boss,

I could not come to the office today because of an unfortunate accident happened last night when I fell on a Coca-Cola crate. The medical report indicates that I cannot walk and sit for a few days and that it will take time to be in shape again.

Please find in the attachment, Copy of my X-ray taken last night.

Thanks!
Yours truly,
Banta Singh

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Vinod.
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