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kausalya
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Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The problem with we humans are we generalise everything....... we are afraid wat others or rather society will tell...... forgetting that we are a part of the society....... and not apart from it........
if the family holding the function does not provide liquor and additions...... they are afraid wat the hatti jena will tell bout them...... especially if there is a person from the defence in the family circle...... hopeless...
wat can be done? Who is to blame? Can the parents of the groom or bride avoid serving liquor? I wud say surely YES. But I am sure if i say the same thing in hatti...... they wud shoo me away telling I dunno how things work in hatti.... i am not supposed to be talkin bout all these.... they are not to be talked about for my age and especially me being a girl... isnt it?
We a small group sitting in front of the computer in the sophisticated world we are..... can discuss hours bout it..... but how are we going to take this message to the people sitting in over 400 hatties? Can we ask for a ban on drinks during weddings? Will it be accepted? Wat is the probable percentage of support we will get......?
Any suggestions to make it effective?
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sendhil15
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Joined: 13 May 2001
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

drinking,dancing,lots of ppl coming are part of our tradition.....in fact many feel proud of the way in which badaga marriages happen.....
i cant understand ur views one one hand u want to waste money by arranging in mandabam and inviting external caterers and other hand u say that many ppl are coming instead of 1 from each house....as some one said ur ideas will work in US not in badaga community why badaga not even in any other indian marraige....
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naveen_sankaran
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Bangalore Karnataka

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can understand that 'booze' can sometimes be a nuisance. I know of at least one hatti where it is banned during weddings. But what is wrong with singing and dancing? Why does it have to be stopped? I always thought that singing and dancing were integral to our culture and there is nothing negative about it!!
Citing one freak incident and then raving and ranting against the entire community is just not done. Usage of strong words like "Lack of decency", "Thirundhadha case" etc to describe the so called 'oldies' is not justified in my opinion.
I guess it depends on an individual's perspective. In the last couple of years, I have been to a badaga marriage in a 'mantap' and also to one in an hatti. It goes without saying that I enjoyed the latter much better.
There are some things we can always be proud of. So what if a few 'oldies' caused a little inconvenience? Nobody is perfect.
Take life easy!!
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purni
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Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There's nothing so serious to be justified naveen. Its the fact even if you accept it or not, it's the truth. "eeyena irathal izhivi, eeyen endral adaninum izhivu, kol ena koduthal uyarvu,kollen endral adaninum uyarvu. have you come across these verses in your school days? if you did'nt understand let me know.

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vijayboj_81
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Joined: 17 Feb 2004
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 4:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi Kausalya,

The tradition of badaga marraige dates us long back.

Drinking , singing and dancing are part of the game.

We know by the words uttered by us will not prevent the people from

drinking.

Drinking can be reduced to some extent as what purni was mentioning.

But i always adore the fat of badaga marriage arranged r taking place in mandapam.

certainly our tradition gets assaulted with new trends.

We the younger community should take the responsibilities of such practices.

bye

vijay
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naveen_sankaran
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Bangalore Karnataka

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Purni, I did not understand what you have written. Please elaborate.
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drrams
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Joined: 14 May 2004
Posts: 340

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Excellent wordings purni akko.....thamiz vaarthaigal alavidamudiyaadhadhu; adhu enrumey azhiyaadhu enbhadharkku oru sirandha udhaaranam..paaraattukkal parpala icon_smile.gif .


rajeshkari78 wrote:

1. Why is this habit of boozing to the heights being encouraged in all marriages? They come there to bless the new weds instead they booz and show the power of their fists. U know u can never satisfy these so called gentlemen for thier quest for drinks.
2. Why is that there is always a larger crowd than the invitee list that makes a presence to the marriages and make our parents sick in thier stomach?
3. Why is that we still insist marriages to be held in hattis rather than in Mandap where things can be more organised?
4. Why do they play this blasting music( so called orchestra) which makes it impossible for anyone to get into a conversation?
5. Why do they have the kitchens absolutely nasty and anyone and everyone enters and asks for thier damn takeaways( this is not Mcdonalds I believe)
For your information I am still single but have arranged my brothers and cousins marriage which was literally a pain. So I have decided to arrange my marriage
1. in a good mandap with ample commutation facilities
2. with good nathaswaram kalakars
3. No drinks and drinkers are strictly prohibited.
4. Good south Indian food from the best of the kind caterers.
5. Nobody is allowed into the kitchen except for the caterers and my organiser.
Regards
Rajesh Kari


1) Boozing..…it depends on the individuals. Infact it is banned in our whole “giraama” and some of the other hatties as well… I believe. Even then some people want to have the same and… we can’t do anything, may be fined..then???. For ur kind info, we have arranged my brother and uncles (kunnappa) marriages in the recent past and the number of invitees…… around 3000!!!.... but we didn’t spend even a single penny for liquor (remember... "kudhareya eesidhamaga saattey eesudhuga mudiyavaa emba" athamaakkey...spending money was not at all a matter). What I’m trying to tell u is that it solely depends on the bride and/bridegrooms parents or family.

2) The larger crowd.... may be becoz of ur hatti-jana. It’s very simple to find a solution indeed, just invite all hatty jana, by saying the so called “maneykitchu hottabeda”, may be it takes hardly additional 50kgs of rice and ++. This will definitely cost negligible…… when compared to the money which u r going to spend as a rent for the mantap.

3) Marriages to be held in hatties…….becoz… simply I would say the following example. Compare between a single glass of “erigittu ganji” given by mom; polished with love (gava) and an excellent food provided from an outstanding star hotel..which one is better??. Got it???

4) Orchestra…is an unnecessary one and the nathaswaram kalakars as u quoted either although music really makes something special.

5) Nasty kitchen…that’ll be there in hatties. See.. u and me may be surviving in excellent atmospheres but I feel that it is unfair to expect the same from bhojan or bellan who lives in hatty. We should think about their love towards us during the auspicious occasions despite etc etc. Am sure that they’ll do plausible things to their level best without any expectations when ur marriage comes provided.......

IN SHORT, PREFERENCE WILL BE GIVEN TO GAVA DURING BADAGA WEDLOCK DESPITE ALL OTHER XYZ AND, AM SURE THAT U’LL FEEL IT/U’LL SMELL IT/U’LL ENJOY IT AND ETC ETC. ONLY WHEN U ARRANGE UR WEDLOCK AT HOME icon_smile.gif .

Best wishes..
Rams
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vivekraju
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

drrams wrote:


IN SHORT, PREFERENCE WILL BE GIVEN TO GAVA DURING BADAGA WEDLOCK DESPITE ALL OTHER XYZ AND, AM SURE THAT U’LL FEEL IT/U’LL SMELL IT/U’LL ENJOY IT AND ETC ETC. ONLY WHEN U ARRANGE UR WEDLOCK AT HOME icon_smile.gif



Well said RAM....


Purni ,
I think its long time since u have attended a Badaga wedding
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kausalya
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Joined: 27 Mar 2004
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I have nothing against singing and dancing in weddings..... In fact I am very proud of our culture for dat matter the Indian culture where it is filled with music and fun and frolic......Music is a must......
I remember, in one of my cousins's wedding.... we were all dancing while the ceremony was happening simultaneously..... and O even missed the "thaali' ceremony......
Jokes apart..... Music is a beautiful part of the wedding...... and dat is absolutely not wat I am complaining about.....
It is only the BOOZE dat worries me..... I understand that a few people discussing on this forum is not going to change the practices overnite.......
But cant we try....... instaed of a stright "NO..... IT CANT BE CHANGED" attitude...... people who drink dnt just drink and go but some of them end up doing some unacceptable things....... which I dnt have to mention...... picking up fights being a very common scene......
Any justifications for that?

Regards,
Kausalya icon_smile.gif

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HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST. STOP WORRYING,START LIVING
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deva_mathan
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Joined: 31 Dec 1998
Posts: 131

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Boozing in the name of 'Entertainment' in Badaga marriage is a social Evil, that has to be dealt with like minded personnel saying a FIRM NO.

The evil is grown to such an extent that it gone beyond imagination and a revoulution is bound.

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purni
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Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 1:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Naveen, i'll explain. eeena irathal izhivu.... obbana saare "Tha" endhu eesudhu kevala emba. eeeyen endral adaninum izhivu......'thapudhu illai endu hegudhu innu appara kevala emba. kol eana koduthal uarvu..... " beethulo" endu kodudhu osthi emba. kollen endral......"eanaga beda" embadhu innu appara osthi emba. baduguru mattu illai ellavu ithe maake elli idhare. THA Tha endhu kithunu tha idhare. thapudhillai endale sande tha bandhara... adhu hanava porula thimbakolava endu amana poruthiutha adadhe. got it???????

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purni
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Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 1:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

yEah vivek,its been very long time i visited the ppl in hatti or attended a marriage. may be ican attend your's if you invite me. ill have a chance to know things happening around in india and our beautiful hatties. icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif icon_lol.gif

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rajunandha
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Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

IN SHORT, PREFERENCE WILL BE GIVEN TO GAVA DURING BADAGA WEDLOCK DESPITE ALL OTHER XYZ AND, AM SURE THAT U’LL FEEL IT/U’LL SMELL IT/U’LL ENJOY IT AND ETC ETC. ONLY WHEN U ARRANGE UR WEDLOCK AT HOME icon_smile.gif .


"Gava"(whole hearted real Gava) prevails, despite a marraige is arranged at home or mandap. It's the "practical easiness" people prefer these days... icon_smile.gif

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Nannnndu...
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ebhari
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Joined: 31 Dec 1999
Posts: 279

PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I really doubt if a close pal's marriage could be all that wonderful without a light drink in our Badaga setting icon_wink.gif Too hard to resist icon_smile.gif
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vivekraju
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 5:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

purni wrote:
yEah vivek,its been very long time i visited the ppl in hatti or attended a marriage. may be ican attend your's if you invite me. ill have a chance to know things happening around in india and our beautiful hatties. icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif icon_lol.gif



Sure Purni....I will do the mudhal mariyadhai(first invitation) to u.....But it will take 2-3 yrs from now....It will be in our hatty only and not in some mandaps.....Everything will be there in my marriage from Band,dance with light drinks icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif Hope u won't mind that..... icon_lol.gif
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