Homepage Badaga Community Forum Index FAQ Search Usergroups Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in Register
Badaga Community
Welcome to Badaga community forum
View next topic
View previous topic
Post new topic Reply to topic
Author Message
rajeshkari78
Starter


Joined: 05 Feb 2005
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi all,

This is my first posting to this group and dont think I am trying to belittle our people or community with my subject line. I just wanna project some of the worst happenings during our marriages and also the confusions followed by all the accusations from our so called relatives.
1. Why is this habit of boozing to the heights being encouraged in all marriages? They come there to bless the new weds instead they booz and show the power of their fists. U know u can never satisfy these so called gentlemen for thier quest for drinks.
2. Why is that there is always a larger crowd than the invitee list that makes a presence to the marriages and make our parents sick in thier stomach?
3. Why is that we still insist marriages to be held in hattis rather than in Mandap where things can be more organised?
4. Why do they play this blasting music( so called orchestra) which makes it impossible for anyone to get into a conversation?
5. Why do they have the kitchens absolutely nasty and anyone and everyone enters and asks for thier damn takeaways( this is not Mcdonalds I believe)
For your information I am still single but have arranged my brothers and cousins marriage which was literally a pain. So I have decided to arrange my marriage
1. in a good mandap with ample commutation facilities
2. with good nathaswaram kalakars
3. No drinks and drinkers are strictly prohibited.
4. Good south Indian food from the best of the kind caterers.
5. Nobody is allowed into the kitchen except for the caterers and my organiser.
I am sure I am not going against my community but just trying to highlight things can be changed to make it more presentable and pleasant with few good steps from our end rather than sticking to the same old methodologies.
Regards
Rajesh Kari
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
purni
Frequent poster


Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah that was a good one!!!!! but it can be possible only when u invite the youger generation. "drinkers are prohibited". how far is this possible? most of the "drinkers" are from the older generation and abt the "take aways". anyone with a lil decency would'nt do that. so its better you invite only decent ppl. icon_wink.gif icon_wink.gif only then your wish will be full filled. seriously talking, you and your family shold take up the responsibility to take care of all the points you have in you. any way GOOOOOD LUCKKKK!!!!! lets us kno if this is possible for you to make it!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________
Regards,Purni
View user's profileSend private message
vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Rajesh i agree with ur point on boozing and not in other points....marriages in mandaps will be more organised but not all can afford such a huge amount....the musical band(orchestra) makes marriage more lively and dadhaswaram is left upto u...for ur info in hatti there wont be any kitchen they just prepare food near some fields....Not all other caterers can prepare the brand avarai udhakka which our village guys r having ample expertise in it....

I think rajesh ur not born and brought up in hatty....if its true u have missed a lot....No offence dude.....
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Rajesh i agree with ur point on boozing and not in other points....marriages in mandaps will be more organised but not all can afford such a huge amount....the musical band(orchestra) makes marriage more lively and dadhaswaram is left upto u...for ur info in hatti there wont be any kitchen they just prepare food near some fields....Not all other caterers can prepare the brand avarai udhakka which our village guys r having ample expertise in it....

I think rajesh ur not born and brought up in hatty....if its true u have missed a lot....No offence dude.....
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
sierra_senthil
Occasional poster


Joined: 08 Jun 2001
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey rajesh..

You have thrown a really good topic. Here are my views to ur querries .

Quote:
1. Why is this habit of boozing to the heights being encouraged in all marriages? They come there to bless the new weds instead they booz and show the power of their fists. U know u can never satisfy these so called gentlemen for thier quest for drinks.


Believe me all comes to bless the couple only. its because of one or two elements the boosing becomes an issue. In this matter i am with you. Boosing is becoming a nuisance now a days.. Its upto you to decide whether to allow boosing or not. If you have decided nobody will be there so stop you.

FYI- There was not even a single drop of Liquor in my marriage, my DAD is an ex serviceman and everybody thought there will be tons of Liquor but we decided not to entertain anybody with Liquor in the marriage.


Quote:
2. Why is that there is always a larger crowd than the invitee list that makes a presence to the marriages and make our parents sick in thier stomach?


Its assumed that when you are inviting a family you are inviting all the members in the family and hence the count of members will never be exact. Morover you cant put a board saying HOUSE FULL in the marriage. Neither you can have a invitation card saying ONLY 2 Members Per Family .


Quote:
3. Why is that we still insist marriages to be held in hattis rather than in Mandap where things can be more organised?

Dude community halls in hattis are the replacements of Mandaps and morover mandaps will extract all the extra works from your pockets only. Here we have an advantage that all our relatives are there to help.

Quote:
4. Why do they play this blasting music( so called orchestra) which makes it impossible for anyone to get into a conversation?

Marriage is a thing to celebrate buddy , my counter question will be Why there is Loud music in parties, picnic or disco. there also you are not able to talk to anybody... Better will be to avoid loud music during odd hrs .. ie early morning, late nights etc.... If there is marriage in hatti loud speakers plays music for more than 20 hrs making it difficult for others....


Quote:
For your information I am still single but have arranged my brothers and cousins marriage which was literally a pain. So I have decided to arrange my marriage
1. in a good mandap with ample commutation facilities
2. with good nathaswaram kalakars
3. No drinks and drinkers are strictly prohibited.
4. Good south Indian food from the best of the kind caterers.
5. Nobody is allowed into the kitchen except for the caterers and my organiser.


Here i agree with vivek that mandap is not affordable by all.

All the best of luck for your Steps.... icon_smile.gif icon_smile.gif

Regards
Senthilvel
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo MessengerMSN Messenger
smathan1
Starter


Joined: 31 Dec 1999
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

to the beginner of this posting, some facts with no offence meant.
How you decide to conduct your wedding is your choice and what you can afford.
Providing booze at weddings is not a badaga concept. It is for the organizers to determine when and how to provide this and make adequate arrangments to see that this does not interfere with the main ceremony.
Mittal can afford for is daughter to get married in paris with select guests flown in from around the world costs no bar. Very few in our community can afford a wedding even in their village with the help of neighbours and wellwishers let alone a organizer.
Indian costum prides itself in providing food to all attendees and hence there has never been a guest list. also you may have understimated the number of guests as many are invited by other members of the family on your behalf. I do not know if you are aware that most of the people coming from other hatties have not personally been invited by you but by representatives from your village belonging to your family.
As for Mcdonalds, people entering and leaving your kitchen are people who voluntireed to prepare the food and serve your guest in their house as their own. the weddings in a village are celebrated as communal event as opposed to your idea of a family event. I am sure that if these people knew that they were not welcome , they would be happier to go work and make a few rupees to put some food on their table as opposed to being involved in celebrating your wedding.These are the very same people who stay behind to clean up after the wedding.
AS to the music it is each ones choice.I dont know if you have attended badaga weddings where the music was from traditionaal instruments playing badaga songs ( not the current filmy badaga songs) and our original badaga dance.( ayyas and ethas dancing )
All in all it is for you to decide who you want at your wedding. I have never seen or heard of any badaga gate crashing at a wedding even if it was being held next door. We are a proud people. many go as far as to lock their house and leave the day of the wedding to some other village or town to save the hosts from embarresment of having forgotten to invite them.
While it is great that many of our people like yourself have achieved economic success to be thinking of marriage organizers, it is important to remember a vast majority in our community cannot afford a square meal due to the recent economic conditions in Nilgiris.( that is reality my brother). i do not think these people are going to miss your wedding as they will not be able to afford the attire to attend the wedding and by not inviting them you will be saving them an embrassement. None of my comments are to offend anyone, these are views expressed to bring out the reality.
View user's profileSend private message
htoniv
Starter


Joined: 12 Sep 2004
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

dear all,

my intention is not to abase and hurt anyone and this is just my point of view .

rajesh i agree with ur first point (boozing) except this i won't agree with ur other points , even though u r saying for our betterment i feel if any streamlines have been done on our marriage style which is prevailing now.

as a hatti boy i can tell u that it will not be a badaga marriage.sorry! icon_lol.gif

and i hope u can manage and afford for all other points mentioned by u,because marriages happens once in a life and to get the blessing from the candid and spotless badaga people u can tolerate all.

all the best for ur marriage icon_lol.gif
View user's profileSend private messageYahoo Messenger
nanjundan
Occasional poster


Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

hi all,

There has already been lot of debate on what rajes had discussed. The incidents mentioned during marriage have been there for a long time and we should take it on a positive note that we are still united atleast on those ocassions . just because we work for the Goliaths and live in the lands of Clinton or Blair or Kim dosent make us forget the root from where we are.Moreover we marry once in a life time.

warm regards

nanjundan bhojan
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailVisit poster's website
pshiv
Starter


Joined: 24 Aug 2004
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

hi,

its marriage............u will be remembering this particular day all through ur life...........so i personally think that everything should be there...boosing, dancing, singing, music etc etc. afterall u start to share everything u have with someone who leaves her family for u.
so i will make sure everything will be there in the marriages of my family and relatives.
try to enjoy these things........then i am sure u will want more of it.
cheers,
shiv
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
htoniv
Starter


Joined: 12 Sep 2004
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

dear all ,

please share ur point of views rather than giving ideas because somebody ask rajesh to invite only decent people .

i don't know what is decent and how can it possible to judge.

according to me we (badaga) are the decent (spotless, candid and elite people in the world). icon_lol.gif

thaks & regards

vinoth.bhojan
View user's profileSend private messageYahoo Messenger
bojan_pradeepkumar
Starter


Joined: 06 Sep 2004
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

hi mr.rajesh..

your first post was impressive. thanks for that.

all the issues that you mentioned were primitive some time ago and
have manifested themselves into the present booze parties.

all the same i think you have forgotten the habit of us - the badagas -
to have the inherent property called "TOLERANCE". Its just about with everyone - even with the people whom, you say want to show the power
of their fists at marriages.

so.. its "TOLERANCE" that prevents our guts from takin over.

_________________
regards,

bojan pradeep kumar
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo MessengerMSN Messenger
manoo
Starter


Joined: 25 Jun 2004
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i am not oppesing u.. just telling my views...

Marry what ever way u like. why you spoiling all the badaga community people and why u spoiling bagaga tradition as well.
if u dont want to marry in hatty then marry where ever way u prefer. if u want only decent people then u will not get any buddy in this world.

Go and do marriage in register office. no buddy would come and disturb u. Other wise do marriage like American people. i think u know America tradition more than badaga tradition.

did u aggree the american triadotion?

Thanks and Regards
krishna
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
manoo
Starter


Joined: 25 Jun 2004
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

hi all,
i am not opposing any buddy .. Just telling my views...

Marry what ever way u like. why you spoiling all the badaga community people and why u spoiling bagaga tradition as well.
if u dont want to marry in hatty then marry where ever way u prefer. if u want only decent people then u will not get any buddy in this world.

Go and do marriage in register office. no buddy would come and disturb u. Other wise do marriage like American people. i think u know America tradition more than badaga tradition.

did u aggree the american triadotion?

Thanks and Regards
krishna
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
bojan_pradeepkumar
Starter


Joined: 06 Sep 2004
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top


hi all..

i still dont understand why krishna jumps to such immediate decisions..

if you are tellin people to marry in register offices then doesnt it put

our mush debated tradition at stake yet again?


pradeep kumar bojan
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo MessengerMSN Messenger
purni
Frequent poster


Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Lack of decency is the answer to all the questions raised by rajesh. Badagasare really wonderful ppl. but at the same time there is a fact that we dont have enough public mannerisms.boozing,singing dancing,take aways cannot be stopped at one shot but can be minimized day by day,occasion to occasion.
THis once happened. A badaga couple lost thier elder daughter as she comitted suicide and the parents were really sinking in the ocean of sadness. So almost 10-15 relatives planned to stay with the family to console. days passed!! One oldie raised a nasty idea. 'After a long time we are all to gether,so lets spend this get together by having non-veg for today's lunch" soon her suggestion was agreed by the other relatives and none were bothered about the parents who were at total loss. Will any one do this on such a situation? So what is to be blamed here?Lack of decency?lack of knowledge?or what? so oldies are real oldies .Thirundhadha case. it will really take a hell a lot of time to change the attitude of the older generation.quite hard too!!!!!!

_________________
Regards,Purni
View user's profileSend private message
Display posts from previous:       
Post new topic Reply to topic

View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB All times are GMT - 7 Hours