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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed.......
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool............

A guy to his GF :
I wrote ur name on the sands.............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............

i got a HEART ATTACK

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"


LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers


ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow


Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?


I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!


Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !

The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love


SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards


A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..


History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....


Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide
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rajunandha
Frequent poster


Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 1:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A good one!!! Vivek !!! icon_biggrin.gif

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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 2:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanxxx Nandu icon_biggrin.gif
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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 11:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Read this and finally understand about Women

1. NAMES:

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change
back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


3. MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


4. BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of
these items.


5. ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of
a new argument.


6. CATS:

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.


7. FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets
a wife.


8. SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does.


10. DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water
the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read
the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


11. NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


12. OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
in the house.


icon_cool.gif icon_cool.gif icon_cool.gif icon_cool.gif icon_cool.gif

13. FINAL THOUGHT:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same
thing.
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purni
Frequent poster


Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 3:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A bottle of beer is better than a woman. why?
Hangover is temporary!!!!!

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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 4:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A bottle of brandy is better than a woman. why?
Hangover is permanent..... icon_twisted.gif icon_twisted.gif icon_twisted.gif
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rajunandha
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Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 5:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Either way there is a Hang "over"... icon_cry.gif icon_cry.gif icon_cry.gif

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purni
Frequent poster


Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

if hang over is permanent then y use brandy? A women will b enuf rite? u can take how many ever bottles of beer or brandy in a night. no one will question u. how about a woman. matter therinja kilinjiraaadhu????????????

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vivekraju
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif icon_eek.gif
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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

#Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free,
pakde gaye to khana free.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

#Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

#Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

#Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
we need your heads to run our business.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

#A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else
they never will be.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

#Sign in a restaurant:
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally
passed by the manager
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------

THE BEST ONE :
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
such as Jaish, Lashkar etc.
Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
- Indian Armed Forces
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ashnan
Occasional poster


Joined: 08 Jan 2001
Posts: 29

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

purni wrote:
if hang over is permanent then y use brandy? A women will b enuf rite? u can take how many ever bottles of beer or brandy in a night. no one will question u. how about a woman. matter therinja kilinjiraaadhu????????????


Huh??? icon_confused.gif Come again!
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purni
Frequent poster


Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

ARTHA AAPILEYAAAAAAAA? icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif

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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ashnan innu artha appileya,aga ni tube light icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif
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vivekraju
Frequent poster


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 194

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.
******************************************************
How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.

******************************************************
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
******************************************************
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
*****************************************************
Wife:Honey Today is our wedding anniversary
Husband:Ya i know,where shall we go
Wife:Somewhere i have never been before
Husband:What abt kitchen?????? icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif

*****************************************************
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rajunandha
Frequent poster


Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Vivek !

I think "Shoba De" will kill you one day or other... icon_biggrin.gif

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