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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 108

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I am damn confused. I don't know what to do. Every day everyone
around me is bombarding me with some tactics to approach her but nothing
seems to suit me well. My roommates even started taunting me that I
can't have a girlfriend or at least the guts to approach the gal. I am
leaving it now on luck. I will just continue whatever is going on; let
the luck take us wherever and however intended.

Nothing unusual or special happened in the last few days.
However, today I thought something interesting might happen. The bus was
about to start the back-home journey today when she and one of her
friends got into the bus. They were searching for a place to sit. I was
alone on a seat of three. I was thrilled that she would sit on the same
seat beside me. But she just came, momentarily paused at the seat,
turned to her friend and just went past; to sit on the last seat. I
couldn't see the expressions on her face clearly but what I saw was a
face filled up with hate or some similar feeling that clearly showed
expression such as whatever might happen, I am not going to sit beside
this *****. It was really heartbreaking. It was the biggest insult I had
suffered till now. Am I so hopeless?


Today, there was public holiday so I got lot of time to think
and analyze the situation. What was my fault? I haven't done anything
wrong. I didn't ever talk to her, I never tried to flirt, I never
gossiped about her except for my close friends. I am even sure that none
of my co-travelers in the bus know that I like her. Whenever I stare at
her I take necessary precaution as not to be too obvious. I don't want
to embarrass her in any way. When I am trying my best for this, then why
did she have such cruel expressions on the face?=20
I think either she knows now that I like her and stare at her and she
doesn't want to encourage me or simply, she just hates me for no reason,
just like many of my classmates who hate me for no reason.=20
I don't know what to do now, but either ways I think she just doesn't
want me to be anywhere around her. She just hates me. Just one more
failure. Does it hurt? Yes it does, but I am very much used to it. I'll
try my best not to look at her. I don't want to do anything that she
doesn't like. I will try to forget her as if she was just one more dream
in my life which simply didn't come true. Probably, I don't deserve to
be with her. This is fate afterall. I will have to obey it.=20

Today was a holiday. So I couldn't see him, although I wanted
to. I actually wanted to apologize for whatever happened yesterday. I
got into the bus and searched for the seat. He was sitting alone on the
seat for 3, it was a good chance for me to sit with him and have a word
or two. I was just thrilled. I was about to sit on the same seat when
Kruti said something. I didn't hear it properly so I turned to her. She
said, "See, Raghav is there, he has reserved seats for us." I just hate
that Raghav, he is always ready to flirt provided the other person is a
girl. Whenever I see him, somehow I try my best to be as away from him
as I can, I even show hatred to him directly on my face but this guy
simply ignores this. I don't know why Kruti likes him so much.
So the point is I went to the seat that Raghav had reserved
specially for us. I felt really bad for Niru, but if I would have denied
Raghav's offer and would have sat on Niru's seat; it would have just
been too obvious. He must have felt embarrassed. Poor guy.

[ to be continued...]

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