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sathish_water
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Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 130

PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 7:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

There was a train crash train de railed and a number of people were
died. Sardar Banta was the driver. He has been asked by the equerry
committee how the train de-railed Banta replied " I find a man on the rail
and the incident happened" . "Why don't you roll over the man and avoid
the big tragedy"? asked the committee. Banta said "I too had the plan to
kill him but at the last moment he gave up his decision and moved away
from the rail and to kill him I too divert my path from the rail".

_________________________________________________________________
Sardar Garbachan singh went to Newyork to attend a course to improve
his IQ. After completing the course on the way back to airport by a taxi
he began to think about his intellectuality and decided to test the IQ.
He asked the driver of the cab to ask one question. Driver said " My
father has three children one a business man doing his business in
Florida, one an artist doing his thesis in MIT and who is the third one?
Sardar worked for an hour to find the solution but could not. Finally he
accept defeat. The driver said "it is me the taxi driver". After getting
India Sardar has give a glorious welcome by some groups of Sardars. In
the function our Garbachen is told to ask a question. Garbachen said
"my father has three children one, who working at Delhi as an engineer
another one a postman working at Jalandher and who is the third one.
After hours of thinking non of those Sardar could answered. Finally
Garbachen said "h! e is the taxi driver at Newyork." ]

______________________________________________________________________________
TO LOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

__________________________________________________________________________


Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his
friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail
condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to
write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.
Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he
slipped it into his jacket pocket.Days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."He unfolded the note and read aloud
, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
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sathish_water
Frequent poster


Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 130

PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 11:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top


Banta Singh got tired of being the butt of jokes and decided to do his
PhD. Banta was looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis
when he saw a cockroach. Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cut
one of its leg. Then he said "WALK". The cockroach moves forward. Then
Banta cut its second leg and commanded "WALK" . The cockroach manages to
moves forward. Then Banta cut its third leg and commanded "WALK". The
cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg. Finally Banta cut its
fourth leg and said "WALK". The poor cockroach could not move and lay
helplessly on the table. He repeats the same with over 1000 cockroaches.
He finds that the results in all his experiments match. Banta is
jubilant, "NOW" says Banta "MY THESIS IS READY" and proceeds to write it.
"WHEN YOU CUT FOUR LEGS OF A COCKROACH IT BECOMES DEAF"

________________________________________________________________________________________

GAMBLES Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very
depressed. "What happened ?" asked Surjit. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet
yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between
India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would
win, but I lost the bet." " But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest
go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab
Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to
all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to
see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are
you outstanding! Please income.'
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sathish_water
Frequent poster


Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 130

PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 11:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an American engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going.

"One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater–Rice University."

The next applicant was a Russian doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question.

"Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was an Indian Politician. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The Indian Politician replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the American engineer."
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sathish_water
Frequent poster


Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 130

PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 11:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laloo Special :

1) Laloo enters a shop and shouts, "Where's my free gift with this
oil?"
Shopkeeper: "Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai, Lalooji"
Laloo : Ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE "

2) Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him:
" God, When shall I see The defeat of Bush? "
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez
Musharaff visits God and asks him:
" God, when shall I see the Capture of Kashmir by Pakistan. "
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in lifetime".
Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:
" God when shall I see Bihar Becoming a prosperous and happy state ?
" Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks:"
God, why are you crying?
" God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime."

3) Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge
rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE", for which Laloo
replied "85 Kgs" and moved on...


5) At a bar in New York , the man to Laloo's left tells the
bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion
says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and
asks, "AND U sir?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

6) After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides To go
modelling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and Resting his
elbows. On the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day
the photo Appears on the front page of a newspaper. Guess the
caption !! 'Laloo, third from left!'

7) A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for divorce?"
Laloo replies "Marriage".

icon_cool.gif After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for Quite
sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to A
friend. "It Took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five
months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool,"
Laloo replies. "Read the box, it says "5-7 years".
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